we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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