So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
Someone signed my nipple.
Randomize
