is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
Randomize