the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
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