Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
Randomize
