These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Randomize
