My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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