This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
There r osticjed everywhere
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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