Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
