Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
