How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
Randomize
