got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
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