It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
Ladies don't puke and tell
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
