So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
