your thong is hanging out like whoa
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
Randomize
