It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
Randomize
