You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
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