Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
Randomize
