Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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