R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize