Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Randomize
