i don't like sucking hair
What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
Just cropdusted the office
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
Randomize
