Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Randomize
