Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys