Texts From Last Night

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  (704): View more from North Carolina

  When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell

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  (704): When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell http://tfl.nu/rk2d
  Replies (9) Good night (3335) Bad night (670)
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  (952): View more from Minnesota

  True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.

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  (952): True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you. http://tfl.nu/3inq
  Replies (35) Good night (1467) Bad night (3318)
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  (916): View more from California

  the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.

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  (916): the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it. http://tfl.nu/4aun
  Replies (20) Good night (4748) Bad night (745)
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  (614): View more from Ohio

  True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.

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  (614): True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit. http://tfl.nu/ajyk
  Replies (18) Good night (4096) Bad night (752)
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  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.

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  (412): Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today. http://tfl.nu/4lg3
  Replies (52) Good night (10305) Bad night (1244)
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  (425): View more from Washington

  Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.

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  (425): Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older. http://tfl.nu/u48g
  Replies (3) Good night (5200) Bad night (876)
• Favorite

  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.

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  (215): We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay. http://tfl.nu/xg35
  Replies (14) Good night (3132) Bad night (1632)
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  (902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

  It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.

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  (902): It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped. http://tfl.nu/3q2q
  Replies (2) Good night (1454) Bad night (605)
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  (319): View more from Iowa

  THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ

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  (319): THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ http://tfl.nu/h11a
  Replies (15) Good night (3199) Bad night (1083)
• Favorite

  (307): View more from Wyoming

  My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...

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  (307): My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls... http://tfl.nu/pef0
  Replies (3) Good night (896) Bad night (454)
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  (206): View more from Washington

  Peanut butter balls.

  (1-206): View more from Washington

  IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD

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  (206): Peanut butter balls. (1-206): IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD http://tfl.nu/s2fd
  Replies (10) Good night (682) Bad night (986)
• Favorite

  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.

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  (412): We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck. http://tfl.nu/ep1e
  Replies (13) Good night (1651) Bad night (576)
• Favorite

  (919): View more from North Carolina

  Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits

  (1-919): View more from North Carolina

  Another sexterpiece awaits

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  (919): Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits (1-919): Another sexterpiece awaits http://tfl.nu/xw4q
  Replies (3) Good night (698) Bad night (521)
• Favorite

  (404): View more from Georgia

  Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke

  (678): View more from Georgia

  Fly high, Fly.

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  (404): Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke (678): Fly high, Fly. http://tfl.nu/tym4
  Replies (0) Good night (688) Bad night (320)
• Favorite

  (607): View more from New York

  I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out

  (253): View more from Washington

  why what happened?

  (607): View more from New York

  Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.

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  (607): I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out (253): why what happened? (607): Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket. http://tfl.nu/9yxi
  Replies (9) Good night (613) Bad night (246)

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