What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
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He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
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come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....