hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
10+ Incredible Tumblr Stories That Will Leave You Shook
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
16 People Who Have Raised The Bar For Petty Revenge
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
So vagazzling was a success
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.