You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
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I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
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woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful