Texts From Last Night

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  (845): View more from New York

  I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE

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  (845): I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE http://tfl.nu/lkt9
  Replies (37) Good night (551) Bad night (4337)
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  (678): View more from Georgia

  I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.

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  (678): I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ. http://tfl.nu/9pde
  Replies (58) Good night (8406) Bad night (877)
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  (678): View more from Georgia

  Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,

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  (678): Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead, http://tfl.nu/tjky
  Replies (11) Good night (4490) Bad night (1123)
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  (916): View more from California

  17 year olds will be the death of me.

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  (916): 17 year olds will be the death of me. http://tfl.nu/j3yc
  Replies (36) Good night (3747) Bad night (2813)
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  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine

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  (412): Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine http://tfl.nu/x929
  Replies (15) Good night (3968) Bad night (1459)
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  (804): View more from Virginia

  For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor

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  (804): For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor http://tfl.nu/12jc
  Replies (5) Good night (4422) Bad night (809)
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  (925): View more from California

  you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race

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  (925): you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race http://tfl.nu/3da3
  Replies (8) Good night (4177) Bad night (858)
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  (973): View more from New Jersey

  when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"

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  (973): when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!" http://tfl.nu/xs9f
  Replies (3) Good night (2629) Bad night (1064)
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  (775): View more from Nevada

  She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.

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  (775): She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo. http://tfl.nu/1nmk
  Replies (15) Good night (835) Bad night (3834)
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  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face

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  (+44): Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face http://tfl.nu/5obj
  Replies (19) Good night (709) Bad night (1105)
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  (734): View more from Michigan

  He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.

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  (734): He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point. http://tfl.nu/zkwk
  Replies (4) Good night (1345) Bad night (605)
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  (712): View more from Iowa

  You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?

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  (712): You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you? http://tfl.nu/pa4x
  Replies (11) Good night (666) Bad night (1695)
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  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.

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  (+44): Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth. http://tfl.nu/fyz7
  Replies (11) Good night (1122) Bad night (1095)
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  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.

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  (+44): Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in. http://tfl.nu/ixni
  Replies (1) Good night (510) Bad night (212)
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  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent

  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  You are living the dream.

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  (617): The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent (603): You are living the dream. http://tfl.nu/ydgw
  Replies (5) Good night (1119) Bad night (292)

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