Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla