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• (406): View more from Montana

  someone owes me an orgasm

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• (414): View more from Wisconsin

  and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex

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• (248): View more from Michigan

  My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.

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• (805): View more from California

  I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.

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  Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags

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• (979): View more from Texas

  Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.

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• (254): View more from Texas

  I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30

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• (850): View more from Florida

  Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.

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• (773): View more from Illinois

  I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.

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• (225): View more from Louisiana

  I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.

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  21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (410): View more from Maryland

  I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?

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• (630): View more from Illinois

  When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?

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• (617): View more from Massachusetts

  she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once

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• (206): View more from Washington

  There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"

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• (315): View more from New York

  I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.

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• (812): View more from Indiana

  I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me

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