Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
I just saw a hot homeless man
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize
