So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
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