she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
