Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Randomize
