well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
Randomize
