You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Randomize
