Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
I checked into jail on foursquare
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
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