I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
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