my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
Randomize
