too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
You took a bar mat shot.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
