so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
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beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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