I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
Randomize