dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
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