So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Randomize
