so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
Randomize