How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
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