but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
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