mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
Randomize