whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Randomize
