is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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