do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
