I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
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we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
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I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
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