these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
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