Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
Randomize
