There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
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We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
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Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
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