I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
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