Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
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