i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
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