Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
Randomize
