Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize