So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
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