Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Randomize
