You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
