Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
Randomize
