You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Randomize
